The Burnout Trinity: You’re Not Lazy, You’re on Fire
That’s not burnout. That’s a fire that started in your gut and burned through your calendar, your sleep, your confidence—and your joy.
A few months before I left my job as Executive Director of a labor union, I told someone on my team, “Put your gas mask on first.” Not an oxygen mask. A gas mask. Because that’s what it felt like—walking through a toxic cloud and calling it leadership.
And here’s the real kicker: I wasn’t wearing mine.
I was praised for being resilient, for pushing through. But resilience without rest? That’s collapse in disguise. I was holding it together on the outside while falling apart on the inside. And I believed that was just the cost of being a strong woman in leadership.
Turns out, it wasn’t leadership. It was self-abandonment.
The Burnout Trinity
I see the same pattern again and again in my clients—and I’ve lived it myself.
We’re not just burned out. We’re caught in a system we weren’t designed for. And it’s costing us everything.
Here’s what I call the Burnout Trinity:
Undiagnosed or Unsupported ADHD – You’re not flaky. You’re trying to function in a structure that punishes the way your brain works.
Chronic Over-Functioning in Mission-Driven Roles – You care. You give. You lead. And nobody’s checking to see what it costs you.
Perimenopause or Hormonal Chaos – Your hormones are staging a coup, your nervous system is fried, and you’re still expected to smile through meetings.
Add them together? That’s not burnout. That’s a fire that started in your gut and burned through your calendar, your sleep, your confidence—and your joy.
And the Science Just Caught Up
A global study just published in Frontiers in Global Women’s Health (July 2025) confirms what many of us have known in our bones: ADHD in women is significantly affected by hormones.
Mood. Focus. Functioning. All shifting. And no one told you.
No wonder you feel like you’re losing it. You are—because the system lost track of you a long time ago.
“You Didn’t Fix Me. You Gave Me Space.”
One of my favorite humans—now a client—told me:
“Working with you was a game changer. You didn’t fix me. You made space so I could hear myself again. I started making decisions from clarity, not fear. That changed everything.”
This isn’t counseling or therapy. This is life strategy. This is leadership realignment, this is transition support. This is clarity coaching for people who can’t keep pretending everything’s fine.
You Might Be in the Burnout Trinity If…
You’re praised for being strong but feel like you’re crumbling
You can’t remember the last time you felt rested
You’re swinging between hyper-focus and total shut-down
You feel emotionally flat… or full of fire… or both before 9am
You’re successful on paper but disappearing in real life
What We Do Instead
At Flower Street Strategies, I help people stop performing while on fire and start building lives that fit how they actually work.
We:
Name the trinity and stop gaslighting ourselves
Build better boundaries (not tighter schedules)
Replace shame with clarity
Rewire from burnout to truth
This isn’t about work-life balance. That’s a scam.
This is about choosing yourself before the system chews you up.
Ready for the Next Step?
Final Word:
You don’t need more resilience.
You need a system that doesn’t feed on your silence.
Let’s build it together.
