Pause, Recalibrate, Lead

How going slower can get you further faster

Pausing to reset in a busy work environment.

I almost had a meltdown.

Over something that others may not be bothered by.
But I had reached a point where, when you have no zone of tolerance left, even the most minor things can cause the biggest upset.
But instead of reacting… I paused.
And in that micro-moment, something shifted.

Let me tell you how I got there—and how you can too.

When Default Mode = Doom Scroll Brain

I used to think I was just bad at regulating.
Too sensitive. Too fast. Too fierce.

Turns out, I’m autistic. With complex ADHD. And a trauma history.
Not broken—just wired differently.

For years, my default mode was over-adapting, overachieving, and over-functioning.
Until my brain broke up with my body and said,
“Girl, we’re done.”

That’s when I created something deceptively simple:
The Pause Practice.

It’s not new. Versions of it exist all over.
But this one?
This one meets you where you are.
It helps you stop performing your needs and start meeting them.

Because when you’re neurodivergent or navigating burnout, sometimes the bravest thing you can do…
is pause.

What Is The Pause Practice?

The Pause Practice is a 3-step tool to help keep from burning out from the inside out. It works like this:

1. Pause.

Take a breath. Name what’s happening in your body.
Interrupt the swirl.

2. Ask.

What is mine to do here?
This sacred question filters out what’s yours—and what’s not.
It helps you stop grabbing every problem as if it were your job.

3. Choose.

Instead of reacting from the wound or the mask, choose your next smallest right step.
Not the whole to-do list. Just the next kind thing you can do.

Customizing the Practice for You

For neurodivergent folks like me, pausing isn’t always easy.
Our default mode might be faster, louder, or more intense.
Our inner system might not send clear signals until we’re already shut down or spiraling.

That’s why customization is key.

• I pace in circles to pause.

• Others doodle or squeeze clay.

• Another asks her dog, “What is mine to do here?” (The dog never answers. Still works.)
  

  Your pause doesn’t need to look like stillness.
  It needs to look like relief.

What Happens When You Pause

What happens is:
You stop being a machine.
You stop reacting from trauma or expectation.
You interrupt the loop—and create space for your actual self to respond.

I used to think leadership was all about moving fast and getting it done.

Now I know that the best leaders are the ones who can recalibrate in real time—without abandoning themselves in the process.

Try It Now

Feeling scattered, overstimulated, or like the world is shouting at you?

Try this:

PAUSE: 3 breaths.
ASK: “What is mine to do here?”
CHOOSE: Just the next smallest step.

Not the whole plan. Not the whole healing.
Just one moment of coming back to yourself.

And if you want support learning how to adapt The Pause Practice to your own brain, body, and leadership style, let’s talk.

The more we pause, the more power we reclaim.

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